The funniest Craigslist ad ever!
2013 GMC 2500 Denali. $45,000. Below Blue Book!!!! Why you ask? This truck may be more loaded than an Irishman in a whiskey-drinking contest, but it is no Sunday driver. It is a ¾ ton, 4-wheel drive, luxury work horse and it was cast from smelted bullet casings and stealth fighters by God's own iron fist to be rode hard and put away wet. It may have a couple of scratches on it but that is ok. And do you know why? Because it's a truck. And you're a man. And together you are Maximus Meridius from Gladiator. And while women may swoon at your kind hard heart and gentile touch, underneath it all you are a BAMF who doesn't back down from a fight and you have the scars to prove it. Because you sweat pure gasoline, and bleed oil and all you need is your 360hp Vortec chariot to get you to the promise land.
Your boats and snow machines are nothing but a light snack for this 6-speed auto, HD, demon-powered towing machine. With its Z71 Off-road package, you can enter dirt track races while towing your 17,800-lb life-size robot collection and a hot tub full of topless super models, and still win. All while outrunning the cops and mowing down zombies with your Mack truck-resembling chrome front bumper.
More technologically advanced than the Starship Enterprise, this truck will transport you in style while trusting you with all of its secrets. Wondering what your oil pressure is but don't want go outside to check? Simply consult your smartphone and unveil everything you desire to know. Tire pressure, engine temperature, gas level, oil pressure, can all be summoned and accessible to you alone at the touch of your fingertip. Your friends will start to wonder how you became so wise and the Oracle from the Matrix will be calling to ask you for advice.
With its 6.0 liter V8, this truck will transport you to your destination faster than you can say Bad Mother Fu@#er and will arrive with about the subtlety of a tectonic plate shifting during the 1964 earthquake. Yes people will stare, my friend. Because you are always the winner in the reaux sham beaux that is your life; because rock trumps scissors, paper trumps rock, but a swift kick to the balls trumps paper, every time.
The rear automatic sliding glass window allows you to make sure that the grizzly you killed with your bare hands hasn't come back to life. Or the sled you loaded up to high mark Mt McKinley hasn't budged an inch. Since your 6 1/2' bed is Rhino Lined with ¼" of near bullet-proof rubber, your big boy toys will be safely transported to the fiery inferno's of hell and back, because that is where you go to play.
But what about the interior you ask? Hundreds of lambs died an honorable death to effectuate leather soft enough to make-up this hulk's supple interior. The climate can be controlled to subliminal perfection by the shear omnipotent power in your callused right hand. The perpetually-complaining-about-the-cold woman in your life will be happy to know that heat can be generated at the touch of a button that will literally light a fire under her ass. In addition to heated (and cooled) seats, it's power can be summoned from anywhere on the planet; it's 8 powerful pistons coaxed into roaring to life for you alone, because you are the Lone Ranger, but Silver has nothing on this faithful steed. Sitting in the command center of this 2013 batmobile black, panty-dropping stallion, you will have more features at your fingertips than that kid David in "Flight of the Navigator," but you will look like a lot less of a douche, because you aren't flying a talking space ship 3 yards from the ground. You're Han Solo, flying the Millennium Falcon, and The Force is for pussies.
Yes, this truck may have more options than a menu at Village Inn, but don't let its Babylonian luxury fool you. It may have you feeling richer than a Russian Czar but it is about as tameable as a rogue wave and will chew you up and spit you out if you do not give it the respect it commands. But command it you will, and respect you will have because this truck is intimidating. Corvettes, Challengers and other gutless vehicles scurry out of its way, even when it's in the slow lane. The pilot car in construction sites escorts it through immediately, even when it's the only vehicle in line. It can out run the cops in 2nd gear, and does. It will park in a handicap space, then tow the tow-truck away. It will be the best man at your wedding, sleep with your bride, and never call her again. Yeah, it's that bad.
If you like the looks of this truck but don't think that is worth every bit of $45,000, then do not bother calling. Because this truck is the lovechild of Optimus Prime and Kit from knight Rider and if you don't recognize its true potential, than you do not deserve to be at the helm of such an almighty machine.
Skip the dealership, all you will get there is a long-winded sales pitch. . ...
For more information email, call, or text Caitlin 907-398-5390
Guy Butcher and Eunice Kratky,recently traveled across and down the Americas by Austin 7, reached the end of the road in Punta Arenas (southern Chile) on March 25 2013. The car will be loaded up for the long boat ride home to the UK.
They have traveled some 18,300 road miles in the nearly eight months since landing at Baltimore MD. All under their own steam save for 100 miles or so hitch-hiking into Los Andes, Chile with two broken timing gears. (Photo: Hitchhiker). Aside from the timing gears and a failed rear wheel bearing, their mechanical troubles have been limited to numerous broken spokes, primarily in the heavily-laden rear wheels. What a great testament to the Mighty Austin 7 and Guy's obsessive attention to detail and preparation. (Photo: A7 Punta Arenas & Magellan Strait). Read more:
The technical name for the Chevrolet Corvette truck is the Chevrolet SSR. This vehicle was released in the mid 1990s and was designed as "retro" car to help the company rebrand itself somehow. In terms of exterior, the vehicle sports a custom bed and body. It is slightly taller than a standard sports car but not close to the height of a regular size pickup truck. The bed itself is quite a bit smaller and not capable of hauling much in terms of weight and size.
Inside of the vehicle, the SSR is outfitted with the C5 Corvette motor. This motor is a powerful alternative to the standard Chevrolet motor and gives the Corvette truck the same horsepower and torque capabilities as the Corvette sports car. The vehicle sports a large size V6 engine which is capable of over 300 horsepower at a standard driving.
Mon Mar 25 2013 18:28:31 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
Gardner Stone is from Middlebury, Vermont and I believe he has the most spectacular pulling tractor in the world. This is the NTPA's unlimited class, and the [tractor's] weight limit is 7900 pounds. In this class, you can have as many engines and bring as much horsepower as you can... but your tractor must weigh 7900 or less. The FOUR (4) turbine engines that you see are Lycoming T-55's. They were used in the Chinook helicopters and are about 3000 HP each. I actually have a lot of video footage and pics of his tractor, and i will probly make a tribute video some rainy day. Gardner is a really nice guy and he owns/operates G.Stone Motors in Middlebury, VT.
Mon Mar 25 2013 18:38:12 GMT+0000 (Coordinated Universal Time)
The Stretch Truck Company is a Denver-based customizer that specializes in a unique niche: adding length to Ford trucks. For about $20,000 the company can hook up your truck or SUV with an additional row of seats, like the the F-series pictured above.