"I don't care if it rains or freezes, long as I got my plastic Jesus, sitten' on the dashboard of my car. Comes in colors pink and pleasant, glows in the dark it's iridescent, take it with you when you travel far." (From the song Plastic Jesus)
Its sad to see so many people sucked into this phony plastic so called Christian culture and it's corrupt values.

If anyone is looking for a ChristmaHannuKwanzakah gift for me, more pictures of quirky busses is always good.

Share your love for the bizarre with this calendar tribute to classic Citroens. Right up my alley.

This has got to be the worst prank to have pulled on you in a locked car. I won't spoil it, but PLEASE load the gif.

These passive bumper stickers are excellent.

I love that someone pulled this Pixar prank on a bunch of Police cars.

Another Clever Craiglist Ad:

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.


If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.


If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?


If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.

The 10 Most Unusual Engines of All Time.

Most car engines today are pretty similar. Even the ones we’d call different, like Porsche’s flat-sixes or Fiat’s new two-cylinder, follow tried-and-true engineering maxims that have dominated the industry for the past 50 years. But not every car manufacturer plays by the rules when designing engines. Some of the nonconformist engines are just weird enough to raise an eyebrow, but a small number are completely off-the-wall, shirt-eating, stranger-hugging insane. Sometimes there was a method to the madness, such as trying to improve efficiency. Other times, it was clear the inmates got the run of the engineering department. And we’re just fine with that.

To put together our list of 10 crazy car engines, we followed some rules: production passenger-vehicle powerplants only; no racing mills or one-off experiments, because those are weird by definition. We also left off engines that distinguish themselves solely by being the first or largest of something. That’s because the goal here is to emphasize the kind of crazy engine design that makes your brain hurt.

So let’s fire em up.

The Ten Strangest Cars For Sale On Craigslist (circa 2010)

Excellent sticker placement!

Mike Newman Breaks Blind Land Speed Record in a Porsche 911 GT2.

The blind world land speed record was broken earlier this week by Mike Newman, a previous record holder. Driving a Porsche 911 GT2, Mike Newman piloted the car to a top speed of 186 mph. He takes the record back again from Turkish pop singer Metin Senturk, who achieved 182 mph in a Ferrari F430 at GAP Airport in Şanlıurfa in April 2010.

Mike Newman was assisted in setting the record by his Speed of Sight foundation at Bruntingthorpe Proving Ground, in Leicestershire, UK. The 52-year-old now intends to get the blind water speed record in the same year. Experts verified the speed using a laptop linked up to satellites. It isn’t yet official but the data will be sent to the Guinness Book of Records to authenticate.

To achieve the top speed he drove without a passenger. He had a navigator who gave him information over a radio link, and it took several test runs during the day before a final speed was set.

The Porsche 911 GT2 is first of 10 specially-adapted track cars built by Mike Newman’s Speed of Sight foundation. It has been fitted with dual controls, twin steering wheels, hand controls and a hoist to assist people in and out of the car if required. He said that he hoped to “give other people the excitement I’ve enjoyed today with the cars we’re building”.

Crazy motorsports moments of 2011.

Not everyday you see a motorcycle made out of wood.

THIS is how you parallel park!

I worry more about the pedestrians than the driver.

Volkswagen Aqua Hovercraft Concept by Yuhan Zhang

Although stellar hovercraft concepts are a dime a dozen, it’s rare to come across one that is both a joy to look at and practical. Twenty-one-year old Chinese industrial designer Yuhan Zhang, however, took matters into his own hands and developed a concept based on current Volkswagen designs.

Featuring an engine powered by a hydrogen fuel cell and rear fans that control the thrust, Zhang’s concept imagines a steering system running on individual electric motors. This design in particular was conceived to cover all of China’s diverse landscape from roads and rivers to snow and sand.

Anyone remember Micro Machines? My kids had buckets of them when they were young.

I thought the point was to make your car look BETTER?

As long as it's front wheel drive, you should be ok, buddy.

Crazy motorcycle stunts. Some work out, some don't.

This is the physical definition of "oxymoron."

Seriously thinking about picking up this shift knob for my ride. Only $16!

Weird delivery truck wine bottle holder!

Yup, Truck Nutz. People, it just does not get any classier than this.

Don't forget the ol' plastic Jesus for the dashboard.

At least he was being honest in the ad.

Bold ad from Fiat!

Don't mess with an old lady crossing the street!

Do not feed the birds!

Nothing dangerous about this.

Catch the Dodge fever! I love the odd look of the old A100.

Interior of the 1976 Dodge Tradesman Van. "Controls are located for easy, safe viewing and use." Except for the gauges, I guess.

I love the graphics on these two models. The "male" symbol on the bottom and the mountains and, is that a chicken on the top one?

They would even sell their vans to hippies! These graphics are blowing my mind!

Amazing cars up for auction from the Bruce Weiner Microcar Museum through RM Auctions. I'd love to have some of these quirky little machines.

Guy immediately crashes his $225,000 Lamborghini Gallardo racing through turn on Chicago suburb street doesn't end well. Good thing I had the video camera out to record it all. Can't believe this actually happened.

No crumple zones there!