Tis the Season -for Santa to go Really Fast apparently

Wondering how Santa Claus keeps up with the demanding schedule of Christmas Eve delivery? Yeah, so was I.

His sled (no pun intended) seemed a little old and ratty last time I saw it perched on my neighbor's rooftop. Sure, Santa tried to keep up, adding a new rocket booster, affixing under sleigh body panels to reduce drag, the reindeer even wore spandex to cheat the wind last year. He made other adjustments, here and there. He even tried running the sleigh on vegetable oil. Green is Christmas color after all.

Wisely though, Santa realized that kids today have an advantage that his generation didn't have - texting. Seems the naughty on his list were texting their other naughty friends Santa's exact location and time of approximate departure. Then the paparazzi's got involved. Who doesn't want a picture of the "real" Santa? It must be worth quite a sackful to the Daily Herald, don't you think? Santa starting running behind avoiding these unfortunate delays.

So crafty Santa headed over to Hennessey Performance. His requests were simply - make it red, make it fast but roomy and make it four wheel drive. The reindeer, well they are getting tired, Santa confided. The new deer in training, it seems, are slackers - smart, just not motivated. So says Mrs. Clause.

Hennessey had just the solution. The new 2013 Hennessey Grand Cherokee HPE800. After Mrs. Clause hit him with the defibrillator, he agreed to the purchase. Santa had a small grabber once he heard the price - $235,000. Holy Christmas he shouted!!

One drive in the new sleigh sealed the deal though. Santa loved the 0-60 spint of 3.1 seconds, the four wheel drive and the reworked transmission. His time to exit a rooftop now -considerably shortened. This power comes from 805 horsepower. Now, the ratio of reindeerpower to horsepower isn't exactly one for one. Roughly translated, each reindeer, with their special powers, produces the same output as 100 of those pesky horses. You know the reindeer, don't you? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and of course.....Rudolf! That's 9 in total. So in aggregate there is actually more horsepower from 9 reindeer. Had they all been 19 years of age, that is, but they aren't. Yeah, they too have four wheel drive too - but getting that power to the ground is harder. Their footprint, smaller.

So Santa has a new ride. And you can too - if you aren't on the naughty list and have and extra $235k sitting in your Christmas Saver Account.
From the Burt Collection.